Wednesday, November 6, 2013
Today... I have a challenge for you. For most, it won't be an easy one - it's not for me but it is more rewarding than I could ever describe. Not just for you but for everyone in your world.
The challenge? Stop doubting yourself. As a parent, as a friend, as a person... stop doubting yourself.
I don't know your whole story, I only know mine.
I don't know who put the doubts in your head. I don't know if they were by someone else or by yourself.
If the doubts were put there by someone else - a loved one, society, a stranger... someone - that is a sign of their weakness, not yours. They want you to doubt yourself to cover their own faults. When you focus on doubting yourself, you overlook the imperfections of others. It's a weak thing people do to feel better about themselves by slowly destroying you. We are surrounded by these individuals every day, often disguised as someone who cares. The saddest part about this is you are the type of person who would have seen past their imperfections and accepted them for who they are. Unfortunately because they cannot accept themselves they get by and get strength from manipulating others behind the guise of love or friendship to slowly bring down the the confidence you once had.
If the doubts were put there by yourself, it stems from a deeper insecurity or fear that you need to step back, dig down and try to understand.
Regardless of who or how the doubts were brought into your life what matters most is right now, today, tomorrow and each day after. My challenge to you is not an easy one. I know, first hand, as I likely doubt myself more than you could ever fathom doing but I've challenged myself to stop and I'm succeeding. Slowly but I am so I know this is possible.
Are you a perfect person? Parent? Friend? No. Will you ever be? Ummm... no. And no one every should be. Mistakes are part of our lives and an opportunity to learn - about who we are and who we want to be. Little or big, we are going to make them. How we move forward from the mistakes we make is what will define us.
I'm not a perfect friend, or parent or person. I don't try to be, not perfect. I try to be the best that I can and I strive to do better. I learn each day, from myself and from those I look up to how to be a better me. I learn how to get up when I'm knocked down. I learn how to hold my head high when I want to hide. I learn how to laugh when my soul only wants to cry. I learn how to stop doubting myself. In doing so, I learn how to be a better example for my friends, for our society and most importantly to me - for my children.
People in my life have some very high expectations of me and they should just as I should and do of them. There is a difference between a high expectation and an unrealistic expectation. People have those of me as well. Unrealistic expectations of yourself or someone else only sets up failure to happen and doubt to submerge reality. In this challenge of ending the doubt, seeing the difference between high expectations and unrealistic ones is key.
You are a good person. You do good things. You are an involved parent. You make mistakes. You are human. You are a teacher to everyone who crosses your path. Let go of the doubt and see the importance of the lessons you are teaching.
Others see it. It's time for you to realize your importance and significance in this world too. Embrace your worth because it's significant.
I promise, when you embrace it and let go of the doubt that clouds your vision, you will be happier and you will see each day clearly for the amazing and positive impact you make.