We've had a pretty good summer, likely another reason it went so quickly. And now here we are, the night before the first day of school.
Many have asked and many are still wondering what is next for Parker. And while we had a plan, I also knew and was open that Parker would ultimately be the decision maker when it came down to it. Thankfully, he's good - at least now - with our plan.
Parker will be returning to CHS tomorrow as a Super Senior! He's able to stay in school up to his 22nd birthday - and our hope is that he will. While he will still have some basic academic classes (and of course, PE!), he will also have a lot of focus on life and job skills. Soon, he will be leaving during the school day with a job coach to work in the community. We will build on the number of days he's out working and the length of time over the next couple of years. Our goal is, as always, as much responsibility and community involvement as works for Parker.
So, tomorrow - with his sister, now a 😲freshman! , he will return to CHS. And, he's ready.
He needs to go back. The last month he has obsessively asked every single day who will be at school and who will not. Who will be in Club Unify (Best Buddies) and who will not. Who is going to Homecoming with him? He's gone through the list of his sister's friends to be sure each of them has someone to "look after them" at the high school - because he can only look after one and that's his sister! He's obsessing thanks to his anxiety and it's time to put that all at ease, providing him with answers and letting him see he still has friends at school and will even make new ones.
We've talked a lot about who is going away to college, where they are going and who is staying locally while working or going to college. It's important to him to know where his friends will be. And, like his sweet Momma (I'm writing this, I get to decide if I'm sweet or not!), he worries about them leaving and not seeing them again.
The past couple of days he's been obsessively messaging them on Facebook, wanting to see them. It's hard. Not only are the preparing for college but they are working too. It's safe to say panic has been settling in not just with Parker but with me too about what will happen next for this group of friends.
Last week there was a bright spot of comfort when Jessie text me asking if she could take Parker out to lunch once a month or so during the school year as she does not have classes on Fridays. Of course, that was a yes!
Today, Kylee and Allyx offered to take him out for dinner. They leave for college this weekend and while they (thankfully!) won't be far away, they won't be here in town either - or driving him to school - so, to Parker it feels as though they are going to be in another world. Thankfully, they are going to Bradley University which is in Peoria, super close to the Jukebox Comedy Club where Parker can often be found hanging out with Dan. So he's seen where Kylee, Allyx and Remi will be but he's still trying to grasp why they are going there. Drew is going much further away to college, I can't easily drive him by and say "he'll be ok, he will be here" but I think this helped relieve some of that anxiety over his leaving.
Parker was super excited that the girls were picking him up and taking him out to his favorite place - DQ - for chicken strips. He wanted me to wait outside with him until they pulled in. Then he wanted me to leave (and take Allison) so they could have the driveway. So, Allison and I left as Parker went back inside and with time, the girls got him out of the house and were off to dinner.
Because he wouldn't let me hang around when they picked him up, I asked Kylee to send me some pictures - which she did :-)
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| Allyx, Kylee and Parker |
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| It's hard to smile and open your eyes ;-) |
Allison and I ran some errands and about an hour and a half later I watched as they pulled back into the driveway. I went to the door to greet them but no one got out of the car. I could see Parker was showing the girls something on his phone and I could hear all of them talking and laughing, even though I couldn't make out anything that was being said.
I, of course, went back in for my camera to snap a few shots ;-)
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| I know... it's hard to see but he is smiling ear to ear! |
Eventually, I walked over, Kylee opened her door and in the passenger seat was the happiest young man with the biggest smile I've seen on him in awhile. (Probably since Rylee and Tanner took him swimming at Rylee's house!). He had the ESPN app up and was doing a play by play of the Cub's game! He would flash back to the score of the Cardinals game and laugh while saying "Boo Hoo, Jen, (his step-mom), is going to cry. Her Cardinals are losing! They stink!"
The girls filled me in on all of the fun things he shared with them, like showing them Aunt Heather's picture and her horse and talking telling them Jeff Bailey is ugly (he left out because he has a crush on Jeff's girlfriend Morgan!) - thankfully Jeff is a great sport about it all! He talked about getting to see the Peoria County Sherriff's officers yesterday when they stopped by the Comedy Club and about how Dan was golfing.
He tried to call Dan... and Grandpa John... and Aunt Betty Gail which are his favorite people to call when he's super happy. Ok, and to rub into Grandpa John that he is surrounded by pretty girls and he's not.
Parker finally got out of the car and bolted inside, without giving the girls hugs, looking for his cat, Sweetie. And, he totally knew the girls would follow him in.
They came in for hugs, we talked a little and I thanked them for spending the evening with him. It truly made his night and mine while we talked about getting together either while we are in Peoria or when they are in town.
Shortly after they left, Parker was ready for bed, reminding me "School tomorrow. Get up early." for the first time without asking about where everyone will be and reminding us both that his life, after graduation, will go on.
While tonight meant the world to Parker, it truly was something I needed to. I needed to see that he won't be forgotten. While it will feel at times that this group of friends are in another world, tonight was a reminder that they will always come back to Parker's world. They aren't leaving him forever.
These are friends, I truly believe, will be life long friends of his. I believe they will always make time for him, always be there to take him out for chicken strips or a movie or to swim. I believe that he will be there for their weddings and to watch their children grow. I can see him at sporting events cheering them on, next to his high school friends.
This is what I worked so hard for over the span of many years. This is why I insisted on talking to the students in his classroom about who he is, how his disability impacts him and how they could be his friend. This is why I opened that door and handed them the key to being Parker's friend. And tonight, I realized that door will never close - and if for any reason it begins to, this amazing group of people all have the key to get back in.
For the first time since graduation, I felt confident that they will always be there for him. All of them. And for the first time in many weeks, Parker had his calm back. The dinner, the laughter, the friendship wiped away the anxiety and reminded him even when they are away, they will always come back and always be there for him.
Leaving me, once again, so very thankful for this amazing group of friends my son has. Not people who feel sorry for him. Not people who pity him. Not people who have to spend time with him but want to spend time with him. Friends. Friends who care for him. Friends who laugh with him. Friends who get him. Friends who love him. Friends who will always be there for him.
Friends who brough back his calm on this... 'twas the night before school started evening.
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